Thursday, March 11, 2010

FOUR Musicians It Will be Cool to Hate 10 Years From Now - Posted by VIC DE ZEN

Admit it. Before it was frowned upon to like his music, you would catch yourself rhyming to Vanilla Ice's "Ice Ice Baby". Every once in a while you would catch yourself doing the typewriter dance to MC Hammers "U Can't Touch This". Or at least make a valiant effort. You would do the group dance routines in front of your mirror at home to New Kids on the Block or Backstreet Boys, and when you went to school you would be too ashamed to admit to your peers that you know every dance sequence they did from start to finish.

Nowadays, when any of these groups or musicians are brought up, you have to state vehemently that you never liked them from the start and you insist you knew they were going to become the jokes they are, for the most part, considered today. Why is this? Why have these former stars been deemed unfit to be considered "talented" now? I mean, the numbers speak for themselves. New Kids on the Block sold millions of records in their prime (22 million worldwide for their second album to be exact). Somebody liked them. To this day they are considered pioneers in their own right, and were the reasons for the "boy band" appeal that happened after them in the 90's and early 2000's. MC Hammer's album was the first Hip Hop album ever to achieve diamond status, and Vanilla Ice's video topped charts for a long period of time.

So again you gotta ask yourself the question. Why was it so uncool to like them then, and so cool to hate them now? Because even then when you were much younger than you are now, even if you may not act like it, you could pick out gimmicks and/or sell outs when you see one. No matter how naive we as the audience may be to music entertainment BUSINESS, we're not idiots. We know when we're being force-fed something to the point where it sticks with the masses, becoming all we are able to hear. That being said, every generation has those gimmicks/sellouts. The problem is sometimes, you can't necessarily pick out the ones who will be sellouts until it's too late and they've already sucked the energy out of you with their talentless acts. So here is where I'm going to try to help out to the best of my ability. I'm going to pick out those "talents" right now, and tell you the reasons why you should expect them to come up in conversations with your friends ten years from now as people they should never have given money to:


Okay let me put this "debate" to bed: Auto tune is not here to stay. It will be deemed a fad and ten years from now, people will listen to albums where artists used auto tune extensively and think: "what the hell was I smoking to like this?". Kanye West's 808's and Heartbreaks and Lil Wayne's Rebirth album are officially put on notice. But the artist that will suffer most of all is T-Pain. Geez, is he ever annoying (but catchy) in no small thanks to his assistance in overusing auto tune. And like every fad that masks a lack of talent, it will not last. T-Pain's more recent music has him actually singing without the help of auto tune to assist him. But as you would figure, his voice just comes across as annoyingly whiny. If you're a betting man or woman, bet on T-Pain not making it through the next decade. Unless you catch one of his songs jokingly being rehashed in a karaoke bar.


This one's a tough one not only because of her current success, but because of her collaborations with talents that have shown staying power, such as Beyonce or Madonna. Aside from that, however, I would have said Lady Gaga would be a laughing stock by 2020. Of course if her current persona doesn't come down to earth she may become a laughing stock out of principle. Despite her talents, Lady Gaga comes across as somebody who is trying too hard, thus making her feel real gimmicky in a quirky, abstract sense. Don't get me wrong, I celebrate diversity and creativity, but when it's at a compromise of your God-given talents, it becomes an unnecessary crutch.


Gene Simmons may have been on to something when he criticized Mr. Lambert for being too vocal about his sexual preference. Now my reasons for agreeing with this statement may be different from his: I do believe it is wholly unnecessary and, again while maintaining the overall theme of this article, gimmicky. There is nothing wrong with an individual being proud of his orientations, sexual or otherwise. But for Adam Lambert to do this, fresh off his journey on American Idol, in which he wasn't even successful might I add, he might as well be a complete stranger. How about you gain some notoriety through your music first before you proclaim your sexual preference to the world Adam? At this point nobody would care if you're gay OR straight. This is somebody I hope people will see through and be laughing at by 2020.

Lil John

It's actually a shame that people are already laughing at this one, given his importance to the emerging hip hop artists in Atlanta, but that's behind the scenes. What the general public sees of Lil Jon is a musician with little talent and lots of catch phrases: "Yeeaaa!", "Ookay!", "Wwhatt!?" Just a few of the words he was known to say in his token loud, annoying way. He was a producer first and an artist second, hence the reason you heard little from him, but fans nowadays and 5-10 years down the road will remember him for nothing more than silly catch phrases.

What about you? Who will you consider a joke when you're reminiscing about the music you used to listen to back in the good ol' days with your friends or your family? Who's silly facade will you see past? Believe me, there will be no shortage of options.

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